The Call - Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

As you can imagine, my "to do" lists are accumulating by the hour! It it so overwhelming and surreal - I am struggling to get through them. So I've decided to spend a little time writing about our life-changing day: Tuesday, Feburary 16th, 2010.

January 30th we said good-bye to our first "son", Gabe. Brendan was working out of town that day so coming home to an empty house was very difficult. To be honest, the tears poured down my cheeks for hours. I cracked that day and sent our agency director an email, stating that I knew he probably couldn't tell me anything, but I had to get the email out of my system. To our surprise and amazement, I received a response from him on Monday morning telling me that as far as he knew, we were not matched. That basically meant that it could a week (highly unlikely) or it could be 2 more years. That email gave me such a sense of peace and faith. I am so grateful to him for taking the time to encourage me to be patient in our journey and trust that our social worker is looking for children that are ready to join our family. All of the sudden I was okay again. So okay that I told my husband that I thought we should take a very late honeymoon during the Easter break. We were going to go somewhere the winter after we got married and then wound up buying a house. So we were going to take our honeymoon the following year, but decided to adopt instead. Rather than continuing to hold our breath, I decided that it was time to live again...live like our adoption would not happen for another year. Easter break was going to be amazing - just me and my man, sipping a cold beverage somewhere cheap and hot!

Tuesday, February 9th, a colleague of mine received a referral. She is adopting domestically and I was happy for her...simple as that. After showing off her baby's pictures to me on Tuesday, February 16th during the lunch hour, she said, "You're next!" To which I replied, "No I'm not, but I'm okay with that. I really think it's going to be another year or so." I went and ate my lunch and made my way back to my desk about 20 minutes later. If you've been following my blog for a while, you will remember that in December I posted about the infamous words that everyone in Sk. waits to see: "Govt of Sask". I see these words on my caller I.D. sometimes at work, but that's because many of the children I work with are in care.

I'm thinking it must have been around 1:45 when my phone rang. I looked down at the I.D. and saw "Govt of Sask". I could hear my heart racing, my breath became short; I just knew. I picked up the phone and muttered, "Hi" (just so you know, I typically do answer the phone like a normal professional). "Hi Mary. It's your social worker, Kevin Kane." "Uh-huh", I very impolitely mumbled. "How are you?" he very casually asked. "Fine?! How are you?" (Read: YOU ARE TORTURING ME!!!!!) "Good. I have a proposal for you!" "Really?? Really?? No..." (and I'm sure more nonsense along that line). I felt my body falling off my chair...my knees and hands shaking, my heart still beating louder than his voice. "Have you called my house? Have you spoken to Brendan?" I asked. "No", he said. "I will email you the referral. Please make sure you take the time to read everything before you look at the pictures and blah blah blah". This led me to think, 'my kid(s) must be pretty freaking cute'!!! "Okay, I am going home to Brendan. He is home sick. Please don't call him". Shaking, I made my way through my office towards the entrance. My boss was not in her office, but I was leaving anyways. Our administrative assistant asked, "Did you bite your lip or something?" (I cannot even imagine the look on my face, but it was obviously pretty funny!) "No, but I am going home. I think we have children". I stood at the doorway, trembling. Tears began to fall down her cheek. "What are you doing?!" she asked. "I don't know. I don't think I can drive". "Oh who cares!" she said, "You'll get there eventually!" And with that, I ran to my car, praying and crying. I somehow made it home, but will admit to three near-accident experiences! As soon I opened the door, Brendan's voice called from the basement, "Hi. What are you doing home?" No answer. "Mary, what are you doing home?" He was sick, but I am cruel so I said, "Come upstairs". I had not decided what I would say despite the fact that I have fantasized about this moment a million times. I remembered that we had a bottle of champagne in the fridge collecting dust, waiting for this very moment. So I pulled it out and set it on the counter just seconds before he turned around the corner. He looked at it, looked at me, looked back at it...poor guy looked like he'd seen a ghost! "We got the call", I whispered. He came over and just hugged me. I explained that I had no idea who they were...if there was one, two, girl(s), boy(s), but all of this information was waiting in my email. We hugged again and slowly made our way down to the computer. We held hands and stared at the blank screen for a few moments until I asked him, "Are you ready?" I'm sure we both looked like lost puppies, but we held on to one another and pressed that magical button. That magical button told us the lives of our children. I read through the pages of information out loud (the writing was really small and his eye sight isn't great). By this point, my hands are shaking like a drug addict in detox! Brendan held them so tight. We took a short break to breathe in between the words and their pictures.

My heart ached for them and for their mother. My eyes were amazed by their beauty! Her gorgeous dimples, beautiful smile, and piercing eyes! His big eyes, soft curls, and perfect skin! I looked to my husband and asked, "So what do you think?" "Yes! Of course!" We hugged and cried and the phone calls began. Correction, I phoned our social worker, our agency, and families. Brendan began sawing away at walls downstairs! If you know Brendan this is funny because it sums him in a nutshell! Everyone I called would ask, "How is Brendan? What is he doing?" "I don't know...I can hear a saw or something going down there. He's already started on the necessary renovations!"

I realize this is a long and boring post that only we will be interested in reading and re-reading, but every moment of this day was truly amazing and I will never forget it. That night our families came over to celebrate, see their pictures, and crack that dusty bottle of champagne! February 16th, the day that changed our lives forever!